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let go of dead weight

Happy Friday!

I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life. It's like I've come to the fork in the road where I either commit to leading this safe life of having a steady job and 401K and putting my real dreams on the back burner, or taking a leap of faith and going for what I really want out of this life. A quarter-life epiphany, if you will.



I've grown so much this year, and learned to rely solely on myself to fulfill any and all of my needs. It's been a very telling journey. My awareness has been amplified. Being on my own has taught me to see things a lot clearer for what they are... not what I'd like them to be, or is pleasant. I picked up a part-time for the first time in my adult life to help me get over the break up of my longest and most intense relationship. It helped in keeping me busy and filling any alone time that may have allowed my mind to wander. The extra money also helped out... a lot. I started 'We the TRIBE' in January and it has come a lot further than I ever imagined it to. I'm blogging more, living more, traveling and getting to know more about myself than I ever had time to before.

Looking back at the last 10 months makes me feel good about where I am right here in this moment. And I don't want you to get me wrong, this isn't coming from a place of unhappiness; it's more so a place of restlessness. I want more for myself. For the first time in a long time my main focus is on me, as selfish as that may sound (unapolegetically so), and trying to figure out what I want. So I'm going after it. As I mentioned in a previous post I'm laying out the blueprint and it's looking clearer and clearer by the day.

revisiting The Foreign Exchange x Authenticity.

I Hate You So Much Right Now

Halloween this year consisted of big hair, hot pink hair shadow/spray, a phony septum piercing and a bustier; and it was all cooked up in less than 24 hours. Thanks to my boo Tiff for the idea. I was channeling a unapolagetic vibrant haired Kelis circa 1999, the "Caught Out There" era. Needless, to say, I had fun with it. Flashback to the video below:



1. Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. Go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.



2. Push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 



3. Erase processed food from your diet. Start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. Use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.



4. Get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. Sit and eat it and do nothing else. 



5. Stretch. Start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. Roll your head. Stretch your fingers. Stretch everything.



6. Buy a 1L water bottle. Start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.



7. Buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. Write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. No detail is too small.



Creative Release and A Classic Scary Movie Marathon

Needed to release some creative energy today so I took a trip to Michael's on my lunch break and picked up a new sketch book and colored pencils. I drew inspiration from my dads favorite singer, Sade, and in under two hours came up with this piece. I plan to get it framed and give it to him as a gift. I posted the above video to my instagram, @Shari_Renee, to show the many stages of the process.

( SIDE NOTE: Tonight I'm hosting a classic scary movie night at my place. Should be good. )

"We should all be unsatisfied with mimicking the popular rather than mining the fertile veins of creativity that God placed deep inside each of us."

- Black Radio 2

I ignored that text a few weeks ago,

it was the right thing to do to protect my soul.

It's crazy, the way you touched me you'll never know,

still hear your words in my head that encourage me to grow.

I was so closed off, and all you wanted to do was open me,

put me on to new things, show me things in me that I couldn't see.

I see things a lot clearer now, but I still can't let you in,

things are so different now

between us

well, the us that used to be

or almost was

never fully manifested because I looked you over

now it's over

ps. you were the only one my mother really approved of

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