Musings: 7/9/2014

I've never felt more free

my only responsibility is to surrender to my needs

and to continue to work on making myself a better person

I don't have to answer to anyone

I don't have to tip toe around feelings or

follow anyone else's blueprint for my life

I don't have to live up to anyone's expectations

or in anyone's shadow

 

I feel good

I deserve this.


( SIDE NOTE: "It's rigged  — everything in your favor." - Rumi, poet ...perhaps we should live as such. )

Musings x 7/2/2014

I'm not perfect,

far from it even.

the mistakes that I make I have to live with day by day
but I have a good heart
I try, and if that fails
I pick myself up and try again.
I like to believe in people
and what they say,
but more so in what they do.
I find comfort in many of the practices of Buddhism
but I'm no Buddhist.
Soy Valiente
If I claim to love you, I mean it.
and I always will...
It's something you will never have to question
ever.
I like to be surrounded by good energy and good people provide that.
I strongly believe that stress is a choice
and it's one that I'm trying to choose less and less
...again, I'm not perfect.
the desire to control and have a hold over others

is something I outgrew years ago.
I try to operate from a place of sincerity, so it hurts when people take advantage of that.
I'm aware of how rare it is that they don't.

(cue Lauryn Hill x Forgive them Father)
and operate best when I feel light and free
cooking is soothing, the ocean is soothing, as is the night sky.
I like to get my feelings off of my chest
because they don't do me any good there.
I've learned that people will say they are an idealized image of who they wish to be instead of who they truly are.
a strong awareness of self is  very important
to see what people are capable of and then watch them fall short of that is incredibly disappointing.
find comfort in knowing that "now" is all you ever truly have
the past is gone, the future is always in front of you
be present
I've learned that sometimes when you come to care about someone is when they'll start to disregard your feelings, and it's not always easy to see them not give you the respect that you'd so effortlessly allot them

... and even harder to let them go.
respect yourself by distancing yourself from what repeatedly and knowingly causes you pain.
and know that some people will never be appreciative until they no longer have something worth appreciating.
I'm working on letting go of my wants and building a stronger faith
It can be hard
and you will be tested to ensure that you truly want the things that you're praying for

don't fail those.



Musings: 6/12/2014

waking up earlier to make the most out of my day

the goal is to upgrade every aspect of my life... one change at a time
can't wait to get back to Cali!

look book photo shoots on the horizon

tired of talking

action, and only action, from here on out

I enjoy my alone time
cranberry juice
GOOD VIBES ONLY.
I'm a to- do list making fool

this was karma, I'm ok with that.
I actually like when people point out my short-comings/ hold me accountable.
have to start somewhere

my journal entries will find their way into a book one day

I miss some things... but I don't have to

 I choose to.
please check out this amazingly inspiring post from my friend Chelli, "The Basting Stitch Called Life." 

'if you love something, let it go,
if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was'
= real.

brave heart

respect is just the minimum

wethetribe.bigcartel.com

 tomorrow is Friday the 13th...
and truckeroo
"The space between where you want to go and what you have often requires loss before regaining ground." —Greg Hartle

absence makes the heart grow fonder or the mind grow clearer
free will,
don't push
did something today my future self will (hopefully) thank me for
"The best advice I ever came across on the subject of concentration is: Wherever you are, be there." —Jim Rohn

focus.

Musings x 5/27/2014

rededicating myself to doing what I love

want: a dream catcher

never allow someone to make you feel bad about taking time to work on and better yourself.
it shouldn't feel like pulling teeth...
we live the life we design
'the world is mine when I wake up'
Me.
wish I could go back

Xmen was great

found a vintage Bob Marley concert poster at the wine fest. score!

wine > stress
I believe in people
3 Ways to Shift Unconscious Patterns That Are Holding You Back
season change
hopeful,
looking up flights is so therapeutic
just knowing that you can get up and go at any given moment is liberating
shot so many videos saturday riding around in the car with Ash

don't assign responsibilities to people who didn't ask for them
the next two weekends shall be epic
some people will forever try to force a square peg through a round hole
..let them
excited for the new season of orange is the new black!
the last five trips I've taken have been solo
never thought I'd become so comfortable
law and order: svu marathons
the sad truth of it is, sometime we build things up in our head to be more than what they are
YouTube this ---> Hidden Colors 2: The Triumph of Melanin

"your judgment/ view is altered when you're too close or in too deep."

I like to keep my calendar as full as possible. down time is dangerous.
running
“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” –Christopher Columbus
2014, the year I stopped waiting on others to live my life


( SIDE NOTE: It wouldn't be Memorial Day weekend without crashing a few cookouts. This one was fun. )

Take Me Away

take me away

to where palm trees

provide shade,

where sun rays radiate

a Midas' touch on my skin

reflection on my outer

of my glow from within,

wanderlust stricken

with no other cure

I feel like I'm stuck in this cocoon

of a room

drowning in familiarity

I need to break free soon.

feeling my last gasp of

 tedious monotony

ho hum hurrahs,

commonplace consistencies

will never be enough

to cure

this bore

that has taken over me,

I need to feel liberated

experience things I've never seen.

to strive to survive

outside of the box of desolate despondency,

these average expectations I will never see

because they will never be

me.

 

 

shari renee

 



Self Awareness Practice: Drafting Your Personal Mission Statement

  The "Habits of Highly Effective People" course had many life changing lessons and tips on how to change your thinking to produce a better and more effective life for yourself. I find myself revisiting my handbook often to keep myself motivated and on the right course. A take away that I hadn't yet shared with you all is "Drafting Your Personal Mission Statement." An exercise from Habit 2, the concept of 'Beginning With the End in Mind', or envisioning outcomes before action. 

A Personal Mission Statement is meant to:

Clarify what's important to you

Provide focus

Help design your life instead of having it designed for you

Guide your day to day decisions

Give you a greater sense of meaning and purpose

Below is the result of writing for five minutes without stopping; the Personal Mission Statement that I came up with back in October while enrolled in the course:

"I want to be remembered. A hero even if it's a personal one. I want people to be happy when they think of me. To be motivated. To smile. To feel like they can reach their goals/ dreams because of the life I lead. I want to paint write fall in love travel have a beautiful family. I want to feel free completely and know that I did it right. I did it my way. Life is beautiful and I want to go to bed every night feeling that way rich vibrant colors living in a different country eat foods full of culture that tell a story. Boats planes mountains animals trees trains oceans sunsets discover create beauty inspire write a book share my thoughts with the world and even if they only reach one person I want them to reach that person. Find the most passionate of all loves and renew it everyday."

It's a very eye-opening thing to be asked how you want to be remembered. Once you decide what you want your legacy to be it will have a strong impact on how you begin to live your day to day life. You will begin to live with that "end result" in mind.


Pick up the book here:






( SIDE NOTE: Personal Mission Statements can and will change as you grow through life. I plan to continue to add to mine until it perfectly reflects who I am/ want to be. )

This Love Isn't Convenient

This love isn't convenient.

I'm not going to love you because it's my birthday

when there's a holiday around the corner

or because you're pulling away.

This love is not selfish

manipulative

or immature.

I'm not going to fill you with false hope when I know that this door is too heavy to hold open any longer.

And I'm not going to love you to prove anything to anyone.

This love is not for show.

This love is consistent
patient
and unwavering.

And will be here through good times and bad.

I'll love you through the random texts and calls from my ex

because I know that if I wanted to be there

I wouldn't be here.

With you.

This love does not wane in the presence of my past.

This love is not opportunistic or shallow.

This love is honest.

Passionate.

Tried and

True.

This love is Me.

This love

.. Is Love.

And it's all for you.

shari renee

Ectotherm

the light at the other end of the tunnel is blinding

so much easier to go back the way I came

walking toward the unknown

vision impaired

but it feels so natural,

so right

how can I look away

from such a beautiful light

how can I stray

luring me in with her warmth

a chill on my back

I glance over my shoulder

so many layers to be shed

should I forge ahead

and still,

ectotherm.

3/2/14

shari renee

I ignored that text a few weeks ago,

it was the right thing to do to protect my soul.

It's crazy, the way you touched me you'll never know,

still hear your words in my head that encourage me to grow.

I was so closed off, and all you wanted to do was open me,

put me on to new things, show me things in me that I couldn't see.

I see things a lot clearer now, but I still can't let you in,

things are so different now

between us

well, the us that used to be

or almost was

never fully manifested because I looked you over

now it's over

ps. you were the only one my mother really approved of



So I found some time this weekend to sneak off to VSU's homecoming..

Blind Rhino @ Art Whino



 

 

Blind Rhino @ Art Whino.

I'm obsessed with this venue. Imagine walking into this rainbow colored "house" and finding art everywhere you look from the ceiling to the floor. Now add a DJ, vendors and a stage between two giant lion heads - fun! I will be back, no question.

Recap: A Few Photo's From Mila and Fire's Sip N' Sale

So I ventured to DC the other day to try out a new restaurant with a friend, and I must say I'm SO glad I did. The destination of choice was Cuba Libre restaurant and Rum bar. From the food to the decor... the whole evening was a welcome change from the usual. After way too much time skimming the menu the waitress suggested the 'Churrasco a la Cubana', and anyone who goes there I highly recommend it! Best food I've had in years. And don't even get me started on their happy hour. A great night was had by all, and I will definitely be adding this one to my 'going out' list. 

Day 36 x 40(ish) Days of Curls

Day 36.

Length check!

And so, the no heat (40(ish) Days of Curls) challenge goes on. My curls are a lot more defined than they've ever been. They have also stretched out and hang a lot longer than before, which I love.

I know I will need a trim after all of this, but I'm hoping to achieve this same length post-trim.

( SIDENOTE: My hairdresser is using me as a hair model for her new website, so I may have to cut my curly hair journey short by a few days. :( But no worries, the curls will be back as soon as the shoot is through! )



I have to be honest

I'm losing the desire

to be the glue

that holds on to you

what about me

and all of my needs

in a relationship

where it feels the only one trying is me

but hasn't it always been this way

you one foot out the door

me,
doing whatever it takes to make you stay

working up a sweat

putting on a show

you are the star

the headlining act

treating you like caesar

all to receive what in the end

half ass efforts

skeptical ass friends

and a mind that never stops running

trying to convince a heart that's lost its cunning

 

'We the Tribe' Crew neck Sweatshirt

Coming 2/10

Available on big cartel.

For me, this year is about trying new things.

 

Discovering self-imposed boundaries and surpassing them.

 

 

Solo missions of self-discovery.
and

Unconditioned awareness.

( SIDENOTE: a good read. )