Friday, November 28, 2014

(Pre)Weekend Recap: Thanksgiving Eve x Forgiveness


I rarely 'club.'

( SIDE NOTE: I decided that my goal before going into the new year is to forgive all of the people in my life who have caused me any type of pain - a kind of 'end of year' resolution if you will. It takes a lot of real conversations with yourself to tap into the reason why you may be letting a person or situation weigh so heavy on your heart… and many times it isn't until you've had these conversations that you realize some of the feelings are still lingering with you. It's up to you to decide if you're in a place to free yourself (because it's only you that a grudge is hindering) and let the hurt go.

Before I began, I promised that I'd be honest with myself in my forgiveness. I sat down and ran a list through my head of all of the people that have brought me any kind of significant, lasting grief throughout the years; and one by one asked myself if I could forgive them, truly. It brought up a lot of repressed feelings and caused me to recognize that some of the experiences I went through were for my protection and progression. 

Even in all of my efforts,I realized that there was a small number of people that I simply was not ready to forgive; it was either too fresh or ran too deep, and I didn't want to lie to myself for the purpose of being able to say I have a clear conscience. This is not a 'fake it until you make it' situation. They say when you hold on to things you're not harming anyone but yourself, which I wholeheartedly believe to be true. I have given myself a month to do some serious soul searching in order to start the new year with a fresh slate. I encourage everyone to consciously make efforts to let go of the hurt and resentment that is unknowingly eating away at so many people. Although I have not lifted all of the weight off of my shoulders, I'm proud of myself for beginning the process. I feel much lighter. 


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