Wednesday, May 4, 2011

For a long time I walked around so blind to so many things; I no longer feel like that naive little girl. No longer am I wearing those coveted 'rose colored' glasses. Now more than ever I'm able to see things and people for who they are. No longer do I feel like I must hold on to people for who I think, or want them to be, because frankly those days may never come. I've learned to take people for who they portray themselves to be.

I also no longer want to push others away. I've found that I've grown apart from a lot of people that I used to be close to and I miss that closeness. It's a rare thing to find people who truly care about you and your well-being - genuinely. Hold on to them.

But on a lighter note, I feel just that... light. It feels good to let go of any pain or resentment, stress, or any other thing that may or may not be holding you back. Even if you push it to the back of your mind it's still going to be there weighing on you until it is dealt with.

I was so afraid to hurt another. I got caught up with putting other peoples feelings before my own. Pushing my feelings and intuition aside and making excuses for people because I always wanted to see the good in them. I thought that maybe because I could see it, that it was truly there... buried beneath the layers. I struggled with letting go of certain situations - to me it felt like giving up - no matter how much I knew it wasn't right for me. Those days are behind me now.

Closure is so important because without it there's always that resounding feeling of 'what if'?

Spring has brought on the desire to spring clean my life along with my closet. It is the perfect excuse and/or opportunity for a fresh start. I've seen first hand how unattractive holding on to the past can be, and because of this it's become easier for me to let go - past loves, hurt, flings, feelings, betrayals and whatever else. These things are in the past for a reason and as long as we hold on to it that is where we'll stay, and I refuse to be stuck in my past when there's so much more in store for me in the future.
That is all.

 ( Excuse this post for it is without direction, but I wanted to get everything out. )

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