Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Musings x 7/2/2014

I'm not perfect,
far from it even.
the mistakes that I make I have to live with day by day
but I have a good heart
I try, and if that fails
I pick myself up and try again.
I like to believe in people
and what they say,
but more so in what they do.
I find comfort in many of the practices of Buddhism
but I'm no Buddhist.
Soy Valiente
If I claim to love you, I mean it.
and I always will...
It's something you will never have to question
I like to be surrounded by good energy and good people provide that.
I strongly believe that stress is a choice
and it's one that I'm trying to choose less and less
...again, I'm not perfect.
the desire to control and have a hold over others
is something I outgrew years ago.
I try to operate from a place of sincerity, so it hurts when people take advantage of that.
I'm aware of how rare it is that they don't.
(cue Lauryn Hill x Forgive them Father)
and operate best when I feel light and free
cooking is soothing, the ocean is soothing, as is the night sky.
I like to get my feelings off of my chest
because they don't do me any good there.
I've learned that people will say they are an idealized image of who they wish to be instead of who they truly are.
a strong awareness of self is  very important
to see what people are capable of and then watch them fall short of that is incredibly disappointing.
find comfort in knowing that "now" is all you ever truly have
the past is gone, the future is always in front of you
be present
I've learned that sometimes when you come to care about someone is when they'll start to disregard your feelings, and it's not always easy to see them not give you the respect that you'd so effortlessly allot them
... and even harder to let them go.
respect yourself by distancing yourself from what repeatedly and knowingly causes you pain.
and know that some people will never be appreciative until they no longer have something worth appreciating.
I'm working on letting go of my wants and building a stronger faith
It can be hard
and you will be tested to ensure that you truly want the things that you're praying for

don't fail those.

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